Link fights darkseid and golfs with garfield
by Nonbendo
Summary: Which is the greater force, link's awesomeness, or darkseid's fancy isness? the answer may surprise you. and what role shall the mighty garfield play? based on a true story.


Hiya, this story's a crossover between Zelda, DCU, and Garfield, and a one shot. It's pretty cool and i'm sure you'll all love it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Garfield, Zelda, or DC comics.

Based on a true story

Also partly based on the writings of ShakespeareHemmingway

Fight of the Eternity, Link vs. Darkseid.

Once upon a time ganon was dead, but only temporarily like he usually is when he's dead, but there was still bad stuff happening in Hyrule, like a big curse of some kind, So link had to go and find out what was causing it. He went to the Hyrule Libratty with Princess Zelda to read lots of books on what it might be. They found a big book that said "This book is from another universe" in the front cover that talked about an Evilly Bad Supergod named Darkseid. The symptoms of the curse on hyrule matched the signs of Darkseid's evil taking overness.

"I guess I have to go and fight this Darkseid, let me just get the master sword, my unicycle and my juggling fish," Said Link, and so he grabbed the master sword, his unicycle, and his juggling fish, and used the unicycle to make a boom tube to take him to the fourth universe on Apokalips where DarkSidious lives.

On apokalips people were miserable and screwed up and old and miserable. Darkseid had eaten their life like an asshole. So link played the song of healing and they were all better and started to revolt.

"No," said link with determination, "Be calm and let me handle this."

So Link went and found Granny Gouda. She was scrubbing out some kryptonian dude's brain with a very good sponge, but link punch her so the kryptonian dude stopped being brainwashed and fell unconscious. Then he whacked the old bat in the face with the flat of his sword. The old woman screamed because the master sword hurts evil people more, so her face was burning. Then Desaad came in and yelled "HEY, YOU CAN'T JUST COME IN HERE AND BEAT UP OUR EVIL BRAINMAID!" Desaad yelled, so link hit him in the face with a fish because Desaad's a pussy and it would be unsporting to hit him in the face with a sword. Desaad was knocked unconscious by said fish.

Link then ran up a thing and found a science door. It wouldn't open but link did science to it so that it would and it did. A bunch of Stalfos came out but Link just stabbed them all, which killed them.

Then Darkseid showed up and tried to omega beam link but link was fast fast and shielded at the exact perfect time to deflect the omega beams back at darkseid and they blew up his body. But then Darkseid came back because he can does that.

"Well played Hylian, but you can't defeat me," Darkseid evilled.

"That is where you're wrong, because I know your one weakness!" Link declared.

"Wait? You can't possibly mean-" DarkS0idious began.

"Yes! STAIRS!" link said throwing a set of stairs at him. Darkseid tried to blast them but the stairs being stairs ignored the omega beams and only flew at him more angrily. Meanwhile link was paddleballing a paddleball just to horse around. The stairs went under darkseid's feat and tripped him causing him to fall flat on his face and immediately die. But then Link herd a loud voice yelling at him from nowhere that sounded just like DarkS0idious.

"STUPID HYLIAN MORTAL HYLIAN STUPID! THAT WAS ONLY AN AVIATOR, I AM BEHIND THIS PORTAL IN THE EVERYTHING WALL SOURCE," DarkS0idious said from behind the portal in the everything wall source as he made said portal appear. Link rushed through the portal like a rushing Hylian. Link came out in front of a big Darkseidface. He got on his unicycle and started juggling fish just to horse around. He heard applause form nowhere.

"Your unicycle shenanigans are impressive, Hylina, but I is," Said Darkseid because Darkseid is. It says so in the comics.

"I wonder for how long," Link axed boastfully.

"It is not my existence that's in question. I welcome you to eternal death."

And link was in an illusion of zelda being evil with ganon and him being weak and unable to stop them and them lopping off his arms, then his legs, then his dick and balls, then his nogginyhead. But Link was in no mood for such nonsensical nonsense, and so he bit the master sword and stabbed the Omega Sanction in the face, killing it instantly and teleporting him to the outside of the Omega Suction. His legs and arms were still gone but he stabbed Darkseidface in the face because there was nowhere else he could stab him cause he's a giant face like andross but andross has hands and isn't glowy bluey and liney and also andross is from star fux so that's not really relevant.

"BLARGH! I AM DEAD!" shouted Darkseid because he was dead. And then Garfield showed up just as he died. Garfield stared in wonder at the man who defeated Darkseid.

"I thought I was the only one manly enough to defeat Darkseid once and for all. Well done kid," said Garfield with praise and relish.

"Oh, sorry if I stole your kills there, but people were dying in Hyrule," Link apologized.

"No worries bro. When people are in danger, a real man must do what a real man does, the way a real man does," Said Garfield with wisdom, "Now let's get you some Lasagna."

"What's Lasagna?" Link asked with confusion.

"You've never had Lasagna?!" Garfield asked with great shock, "It is the food of the mighty, the very essence of strength and manliness stuffed between delicious flat noodles. We have to get you some now. And then we should play some golf."

"Sure," said link and they went to a lasagna store. There was death metal music like godsmack and evanescence playing on the radio in the store. They bought some lasagna and ate it.

"You were right Garfield, that was delicious," said Link with delight.

"It's even better when it's cooked butt sometimes there is no time for cooking!" Said Garfield with cleverness.

Then the went to the golf field, Link set up the baskets while Garfield salted the field, then they got their seconds, Garfield had Jon Arbuckle and Link chose Zelda because his girlfriend and she's a professional golfball. Link and Zelda had the ball first, so they ran all over the field Kicking the ball to each other and link picked up the ball and batted it between the goalposts, scoring a three pointer. But then it was garfield and jon arbuckle's turn to have the ball. They picked up their golf rackets, and dribbled the ball into Zelda's face.

"40 love," shouted Garfield with athleticism.

Their game lasted into the night, but in the end they scored the same number of homeruns and it was getting late so they called it a draw. Link went home and introduced lazawnya to hyrule and then had a sex orgy of sex with zelda, saria, ruto, and malon, all of whom were over the age of 18 and had fully developed boobies because it's the future and not the past, that's how link has the master sword. Link grabbed Saria's DD boobies and massaged them while zelda licked his balls and malon rubbed her big tits on his back. Then link fucked them all in the vaginas in turn with the force of a thousand fuckings, and came in them with the force of a thousand cummings, and they might have gotten repugnant but that was no issue because link was rich and had a million rupees so he was rich. Suddenly they all heard a voice.

The end.

"AMAKO!" It was Jon arbuckle, coming thorough a portal with a present for link. A robe made of garfield fur that would protect him from all the injuries he never gets.

"Thank you Jon Arbuckle, this will be extremely useful," Link said.


End file.
